Great Expectations

There may be no subject more complex and more emotional than how to best educate our children. Every adult wants the children in their community to be properly educated so they can grow up and be productive citizens in the workforce. Every parent wants their child to be educated. Every child wants to do well in school. Do you see the trend here? Everybody WANTS this to happen. How many of these same people expect it to happen? There is a world of difference between wanting something to happen and expecting it to happen.

Bear with me a minute while we look at the difference between wanting and expecting. I promise, I am going somewhere with this.

Want is defined as “to feel a need or a desire for; wish for something”. It is an emotional word based on feelings. It requires no effort on the part of the person. It is simplistic. A child would say I want to be a fireman. I might say I want a million dollars. We all have wants. The fact we want something, does not mean it is going to happen.

That leads me to the word expect. The word expect is defined as “to look for with reason or justification.” Do you use the difference? Expectations are more rational than wants. There is some basis for the expectation. There is no basis for a want. It is merely a feeling or desire. An expectation is much stronger. It implies that there is a rational reason for the event.

Let’s look at a simple sentence and see the profound difference between want and expect. I want my child to obtain a good education. I expect my child to obtain a good education. Do you see the difference? To merely want your child to get a good education is just a wish. To expect your child to get a good education implies a sense of effort and responsibility.

Several studies have concluded that the parents’ expectations are by far and away the primary success factors in a child’s education. A child’s success is impacted more by what the parent expects of him or her than the specific school they attend, the quality of their teachers, the quality of the administrators and even their socio-economic class. This is a staggering statement if true.
This should come as no surprise if you follow the logical conclusion of an expectation. Let’s follow the simple but profound consequences of expecting your child to further their education beyond high school. I think we can all agree that this is a desired outcome for all students. This furtherance could be in the form of the technical schools, a two year BA program or pursing a four-year degree at a university.

If I expect my child to further their education beyond high school, I will most certainly let it be known to the child. I will hold my child accountable for making the most of their time in school. I will then monitor my child’s preparedness for school. I will in turn be more aware of his or her or her teachers. I will be involved with the teacher and school. I will become more aware of the needs of the school and school system. I will be supportive of and work to improve the educational resources in my community. In part I will have created a culture of education in my home which will spill over and create a culture of education in my community.

A Michigan survey found that the majority of parents had low expectations for their children. Less than 1% of the parents expected their child to become a CEO or business owner. Very few expected their child to grow up to be surgeon, accountant or astronaut. The actual role is not important. It was the overall expectation that it implied. The study found that parents did not set high expectations for their child. According to the Detroit News, while they had low expectations for their child’s careers, they did score high on the fluffy “whatever makes them happy” - an attitude that doesn’t do much to build a culture of education in the home. How many children are “happy” when doing homework?
Educators have taken a lot of criticism in recent years. But it's now clear that their effectiveness has been limited by uninterested parents. State law and common sense give parents the fundamental right to direct their child's education. But many parents have abdicated that role to the teachers, who cannot possibly carry the load without parents as partners. We need to find a way to need to convince parents that education should be more of a priority.

The funny thing about expectations is that most children usually meet them. If we set them high and the child falls short he or she is still likely to achieve more than if we set low or unclear expectations. Higher expectations lead to higher results. That is something we should all expect.